oh dear god: Sorry this post is basically word vomit. Read at your own risk.

So, as it would happen, kid who has actually lived loads of places before is scared to death to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm all sorts of excited about going to Cameroon and can't wait to find out all about the country and the city and my host family, classes,etc (oh, and I should probably also work on this speaking French thing).

But the scared part: I have some sort of weird idea that when I leave, my world in the US is going to fall apart. Or, more realistically, that it will keep spinning without me and forget all about me. As stupid and irrational as this sounds, it is a source of major distress right now. I have ptsd from moving too much? Maybe, but I haven't really moved that much. I blame my dad. Everything can be his fault. Ha. (jokes, love you dad.)

Oh, did I mention I'm leaving tomorrow? Yeah. Real Soon. Actually, it's not until 2pm, but that's less than twelve hours away so it qualifies as soon. I ventured to Tyson's Corner today (large pain in the butt mall in McLean) and purchased a non-backpack with ZIPPERS that I can use for school. It has a weird flower on it and reminds me of something a middle schooler would like, but hopefully it will grow on me.

I had a fun experience at the mall: some woman tried to sell me a $200 hair straightener. I then explained to her that I was leaving for West Africa tomorrow. She was not deterred, so I told her that I couldn't afford it. This did not seem to phase her either and she insisted that I sit down so that she could show me the wonders of the hair straightener. (ok, i'll admit it was a pretty nice straightener and could have gone through all my hair in about 10 min versus the 40 min my cheap one takes. it also makes curls if you so desire.) I was quite confused as to why she was still attempting to sell me this thing, and then she asked how old I was. Apparently she thought I was about sixteen and could have my mommy pay for it. Fail Carrie. I didn't really think I looked like a high schooler but...

You will be proud to learn that I have mostly accomplished the packing. I still need to add my French dictionary, to actually put stuff in my carry-on, and to take the cash my lovely parents have given me and put it somewhere safe and in something that will be traveling with me, like not my sock drawer. (that's for me. I would do something like that.) Maybe I should bring a portable CD player. I don't have any CDs, but perhaps that's the way people listen to music there. Great spontaneous thought. Aren't you glad I'm sharing?