oh dear god: Sorry this post is basically word vomit. Read at your own risk.

So, as it would happen, kid who has actually lived loads of places before is scared to death to leave. Don't get me wrong, I'm all sorts of excited about going to Cameroon and can't wait to find out all about the country and the city and my host family, classes,etc (oh, and I should probably also work on this speaking French thing).

But the scared part: I have some sort of weird idea that when I leave, my world in the US is going to fall apart. Or, more realistically, that it will keep spinning without me and forget all about me. As stupid and irrational as this sounds, it is a source of major distress right now. I have ptsd from moving too much? Maybe, but I haven't really moved that much. I blame my dad. Everything can be his fault. Ha. (jokes, love you dad.)

Oh, did I mention I'm leaving tomorrow? Yeah. Real Soon. Actually, it's not until 2pm, but that's less than twelve hours away so it qualifies as soon. I ventured to Tyson's Corner today (large pain in the butt mall in McLean) and purchased a non-backpack with ZIPPERS that I can use for school. It has a weird flower on it and reminds me of something a middle schooler would like, but hopefully it will grow on me.

I had a fun experience at the mall: some woman tried to sell me a $200 hair straightener. I then explained to her that I was leaving for West Africa tomorrow. She was not deterred, so I told her that I couldn't afford it. This did not seem to phase her either and she insisted that I sit down so that she could show me the wonders of the hair straightener. (ok, i'll admit it was a pretty nice straightener and could have gone through all my hair in about 10 min versus the 40 min my cheap one takes. it also makes curls if you so desire.) I was quite confused as to why she was still attempting to sell me this thing, and then she asked how old I was. Apparently she thought I was about sixteen and could have my mommy pay for it. Fail Carrie. I didn't really think I looked like a high schooler but...

You will be proud to learn that I have mostly accomplished the packing. I still need to add my French dictionary, to actually put stuff in my carry-on, and to take the cash my lovely parents have given me and put it somewhere safe and in something that will be traveling with me, like not my sock drawer. (that's for me. I would do something like that.) Maybe I should bring a portable CD player. I don't have any CDs, but perhaps that's the way people listen to music there. Great spontaneous thought. Aren't you glad I'm sharing?

Here is where I am going to be spending the next five months. 2.5 days until take-off; it is fast approaching. I have done most of my shopping. I made a rather awesome packing list complete with boxes to check. I still need to buy a bag to use for school while I'm there. I don't have anything that zips up and is not a backpack, but aside from that and some thumb drives I'm pretty goddarn near ready to go, aside from the shoving everything into suitcases aspect. I always hated packing anyway.

and so it begins

This was a lot harder to start than I thought it would be. I've written blogs and blog-like things before. I figure the essence of it is forming your thoughts in a way that they are still somewhat uniquely yours, but not so personal that you don't feel comfortable with other people reading them. Pretty straightforward.

This is different though. I'm actually writing about something. An experience which, as my mom has said, "will be unique to me." I almost feel as if I've created a right of passage for myself. I'm both excited and terrified. I hope to write more about that in the future. This entry is about the name, the place, and the purpose.

The name: it will change through time. At the moment, the name is "easy as 123," inspired by Jackson 5's "ABC." I'm thinking about changing it to Jayenjay or some variation thereof.

Jayenjay is one of my highschool nicknames along with 'johnson and johnson' and shampoo. Thank you Seth Walder. Apparently I had cool hair and my last name was Johnson, therefore I needed to be named after a hair product. Go figure.

If I change the name of the blog to a variation of my name, I'm going to hopefully come up with some sort of cleverly descriptive subtitle which will be far more informative than the name. Here's to hoping.

The place: will be Yaounde, Cameroon in West Africa. The place and the purpose are very much intertwined. I am going to this corner of the world that is so far removed in culture, climate, and location than any place I've lived before. The fact that it's so different than anything I've ever experienced is the very reason I want to go there.

The purpose: of this blog is to document my life while I am there. I want to write about what happens; what I see. Inevitably I will write about what is different, hopefully I will also write about what is the same. Yes. I am very clichéd. But I like clichés. Get over it.